tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:47:44 +0000A little bit of uhh for datass.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/noreply@blogger.com (Michael)Blogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-1038435713865090084Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:16:00 +00002008-11-13T16:47:44.480-06:00TODAY'S HEADLINES: Two female teachers in Tampa, Florida are in custody today, accused of having sex with their teenaged students. And this just in, the school attendance rate for teenage boys in Tampa, Florida is 100%. Showing that he'll adhere to a bipartisan administration, President-Elect Obama celebrated his pending Commander in Chief role by dipping a slice of watermelon into some hotdishhttp://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/11/todays-headlines-two-female-teachers-in.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-2327684064623412211Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:02:00 +00002008-10-29T19:07:16.413-05:00Okay, famous black guys; try not to kill any white women until at least November 5th.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/10/okay-famous-black-guys-try-not-to-kill.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-1103390876496662153Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:06:00 +00002008-09-07T12:09:28.072-05:00Somebody should tell our administration that there's no prestige mode in real life.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/09/somebody-should-tell-our-administration.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-2682266536150946767Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:56:00 +00002008-09-07T12:06:46.696-05:00I don't understand why lazy people get a bad rap. We should unite and maybe form a union. But I'm not gonna unite us. You do it. I'm watching Mad Men then going to bed.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/09/i-dont-understand-why-lazy-people-get.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-1896074314499886139Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:24:00 +00002008-09-03T08:25:36.475-05:00If you're looking for a quick, educational game to play with the kids, try playing SPOT THE BLACK GUY at THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION. It's fast, easy and fun.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/09/if-youre-looking-for-quick-educational.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-8513228375391825994Fri, 21 Mar 2008 17:54:00 +00002008-03-21T14:38:58.235-05:00HeadlinesTODAY'S HEADLINES: Illiterate Man Sues Makers of M&Ms, Says Bag Was Red And They Tasted Like Skittles Crack down on Illegal Immigrants Threatens New Season of Dora the Explorer Man Wears Wristband On Forearm During Pickup Basketball Game, Still Can't Shoot Rapper Caught On Video Using Full "ing" Suffix. Minnesota Woman Not Attracted to Bald Men, Moves White Guy Messes Up Handshake with http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/03/todays-headlines-illiterate-man-sues.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-4026125614744091602Thu, 13 Mar 2008 19:05:00 +00002008-03-21T13:11:13.889-05:00PeopleRace RelatedEver since my mulatto friend got her new Blackberry, she's been sending me mixed messages.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/03/ever-since-my-mulatto-friend-got-her.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-5568757134331811644Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:38:00 +00002008-03-21T13:11:37.976-05:00PeopleHe Did Whaaat?I bet cannibals get sick of people.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/03/i-bet-cannibals-get-sick-of-people.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-2645276018282479533Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:26:00 +00002008-03-21T13:11:37.977-05:00He Did Whaaat?A guy walks into a bar, right? He has a few drinks, enough to get drunk, drives home and wakes up the next day. Oh, and he runs over some people on the way home. Five dead of vehicular homicide. Never mind. I always ruin this joke. It's never funny when I tell it.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2008/01/guy-walks-into-bar-right-he-has-few.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-8723966365720835676Tue, 03 Jul 2007 22:32:00 +00002008-03-21T13:11:59.908-05:00PeopleIt takes a big person to admit they're fat.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2007/07/it-takes-big-person-to-admit-theyre-fat.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-5255996078162300574Wed, 28 Mar 2007 23:29:00 +00002008-03-21T13:12:07.869-05:00Hmmm...Has anyone ever not liked the cut of someone's jib?http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2007/03/has-anyone-ever-not-liked-cut-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-87518442976922795Mon, 11 Dec 2006 15:42:00 +00002008-03-21T13:12:18.117-05:00Religion"I think the spirit of Christmas is as strong as ever," said the Easter Bunny with a smirk.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/12/i-think-spirit-of-christmas-is-as.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-4953849460175794210Sat, 09 Dec 2006 05:17:00 +00002006-12-08T23:28:47.776-06:00MoviesKevin Spacey is Keyser Sose. Spoiler. Have I mentioned I have dyslexia?http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/12/kevin-spacey-is-keyser-sose.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-3828502848152060128Thu, 07 Dec 2006 22:41:00 +00002006-12-07T16:48:45.945-06:00Race RelatedPoliticalGeorge Bush does not care about black carpet beetles.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/12/george-bush-does-not-care-about-black.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-3228895752288932237Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:21:00 +00002006-12-06T19:31:50.747-06:00PoliticalSilly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/12/silly-sally-dillydallied-then-got-fired.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-115224141535253206Wed, 04 Oct 2006 18:45:00 +00002006-10-04T13:49:14.596-05:00Hmmm...The road less traveled is usually under construction.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/10/road-less-traveled-is-usually-under.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-115713906712899931Fri, 01 Sep 2006 19:27:00 +00002006-09-01T14:32:11.986-05:00Hmmm...I once saw a homeless man with a set of keys.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/09/i-once-saw-homeless-man-with-set-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-115224131164605288Fri, 07 Jul 2006 02:59:00 +00002006-07-06T22:01:51.663-05:00Hmmm...Scared chickens are chickens, too.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/07/scared-chickens-are-chickens-too.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-114309228194325011Wed, 07 Jun 2006 12:13:00 +00002006-06-08T00:23:55.993-05:00CartoonsBrainy blamed himself for the death, but there was no way he could tell that Papa Smurf was choking.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/06/brainy-blamed-himself-for-death-but.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-113708954293813672Sat, 03 Jun 2006 16:41:00 +00002006-06-08T00:16:40.816-05:00GodI think God's starting five would be Mark Pope, Brian Cardinal, God Shammgod, Laron Profit and Priest Lauderdale. And they would always comeback and win.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/06/i-think-gods-starting-five-would-be.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-113718801088910923Tue, 30 May 2006 15:00:00 +00002006-12-07T16:59:45.660-06:00Criminal MindedAfter we pulled off the bank heist, things got a little messy when we dropped the bags. My partner said it was because we weren't organized enough. I thought it was because we mistakenly robbed a sperm bank and not a money bank. I think we're both right.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/05/after-we-pulled-off-bank-heist-things.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-114769340865942109Thu, 25 May 2006 11:40:00 +00002006-06-08T00:19:51.283-05:00GodHere's a thought: Maybe God is a scientist and everybody's right.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/05/heres-thought-maybe-god-is-scientist.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-114481315131015789Sat, 20 May 2006 03:30:00 +00002006-06-08T00:22:55.253-05:00CartoonsHmmm...If I were head of an organization that investigated stuff, my first case would be finding out what happened to the black people who lived in Bedrock between the "Flintstone Kids" and "The Fintstone" eras.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/05/if-i-were-head-of-organization-that.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-114771011944546971Mon, 15 May 2006 16:18:00 +00002006-05-15T11:21:59.470-05:00Criminal MindedI have a million dollar idea that I'm willing to sell for $50,000. Contact me if you're intrested. No police or lawyers, please.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/05/i-have-million-dollar-idea-that-im.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18731739.post-114657835033218798Tue, 02 May 2006 13:48:00 +00002006-05-02T08:59:10.346-05:00Criminal MindedHmmm...Interesting fact: 100% of crimes committed are committed by criminals.http://www.apartmenttwo.com/2006/05/interesting-fact-100-of-crimes.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Michael)